Crown you with Honesty!

I am worthy 

Of the truth that is 

You are Honest 

I believe you are truthful that is 

Spare my feelings 

That is what society has taught 

Honor me with your truth 

That is what my heart says 

Well, I hope that I have been clear about where our conversation begins sir.  And I do not by any means represent all women. But what I will represent   today is that group of women who want the truth.  I’m talking that “Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you, God”.  Contrary to what society, the barbershop, or ya boys tell you WE WANT THAT ISH. Unapologetic Honesty.  Believe it or not, we can handle it.  We might not be excited about being divulged something that will taint our happily ever after.  But your whole truth is essential to relationship development and growth between you and your partner. Let me take a step back for a moment.  Communication, good communication is the hallmark to a positive and healthy relationship.  Honesty is like a brother/sister to communication. Without it there is no unity in a genuine relationship. You need honesty in order to properly communicate with your mate.  Bottom-line!

Lies on the other hand are like snowballs they are exciting and fun until you get hit in the face with one. From that snowball, if they survive that turn into snowmen, that potentially melt into nothingness.  Eventually, this can become an avalanche that will take out everything in their paths… I think you guys get where I’m going. They can and will destroy the foundation of your relationship ultimately and things won’t be so sweet once the truth is unleashed. 

Contrary to what society, the barbershop, or ya boys tell you WE WANT THAT ISH. Unapologetic Honesty.  Believe it or not, we can handle it. 

Top Reasons Human lie (Psychology today, 2017):

1. The lie does matter… to them. The number one reason people lie when it just doesn’t matter is because they actually do think it matters. 

2. Telling the truth feels like giving up control. Often, people tell lies because they are trying to control a situation and exert influence toward getting the decisions or reactions they want. The truth can be “inconvenient” because it might not conform to their narrative.

3. They don’t want to disappoint you. It may not feel like it to you, but people who tell lie after lie are often worried about losing the respect of those around them. They want you to like them, be impressed, and value them. 

4. It’s not a lie to them. When we are under pressure, our thinking about the big picture can be challenged. 

Those are just a few facts.  We all know that there are many more reasons why.  In the mind of most Men the primary reason to devise stories of deception is: 

Truth=Rejection & Lies =Controlling the narrative.

Would you agree?  Please believe me when in tell you fellas most women would rather you hurt them with the truth than to finesse them with a lie.  So today I want to crown you with truth, I want to leave you with some tips to start those honorable and honest conversations with the ladies.

  • Create a mood:choose a place or environment that will keep you and your mate relaxed & calm- taking a walk, working out, or creating an ambiance at home.
  • Tone of voice:it’s not what you say it’s how you say it. After you’ve set the right mood take a gentle approach, you want to create a restorative environment.  Try your best to use language that doesn’t place blame or manifest hostility. 
  • Be ready to give your partner space:After revealing you truth you partner may need a break and that’s ok.  Processing what’s happened is essential for both parties to move forward successfully together or apart.  
  • Be Open.  You must accept the end result.  Though you may not want a negative outcome be accepting of the fate of the relationship. Whether the result is positive or negative you MUST accept and reflect on what the universe has delivered.  Behind every lesson is a blessin’ and you will be rewarded for your honesty! You will feel good about yourself, know you were honorable and live in your truth.  

From here on, my advice to you is- if you use this practice from the gate you will bring in the energy and relationship that you need to thrive.  We often times lie to get the things we want and lose them because it wasn’t what we needed. On that note I sign off fellas. I hope you enjoyed our time.  

Lata,


Chi

Reference:

Ley Ph.D., D. (2017).  6 Reasons People Lie When They Don’t Need To: Understanding the motivations pathological liars.  Retrieved on February 7, 2019, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201701/6-reasons-people-lie-when-they-don-t-need

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About the Author afrokurvechi

My name is Chimere. I am native of Rochester, NY but I reside in the DMV. I am a lover of sociology, good food, love, beauty, fashion and Afro-isms. I just wanted to introduce myself lightly before I commence my first entry or contribution to an ongoing conversation that I would like to call “Crowning the black man”. Each segment will end or begin with some melodic lyrics and include commentary. Here goes:

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